Ayo the Charlie Sheen interview nahmean!

Ayo photo used without permissions courtesy of the nigga @MarkMilly on Twitter nahmean.

Ayo whattup yall its the Ragu Brother #1 aka Big Ghost nahmean! Ayo yall already kno how the god do namsayin. If we goin out we goin out wit a bang n shit my niggas. We aint goin out like birthday cake candles n shit we goin out like the Al Qaeda niggas wit the c-4 strapped to they jackets n shit nahmean. Ayo this the showdown that a lotta yall niggas been askin for namsayin. Niggas be sayin ayo Tone whats ya opinions on the nigga Charlie Sheen n whatever whatever. They be sayin ayo Tone we aint kno how to feel about son cos he wylin but he be captivatin niggas minds n shit. Ayo first off Imma jus clarify some shit...the god dont be playin all that racist shit but Imma keep it 100 wit yalls...some shit is jus facts nahmean. Ayo white muthafuckas enjoy bein in the wilderness n shit n goin places they aint got no business goin to...like into frozen underwater caves n climbin up mountains n gettin they ass killed for no good reasons n shit. Thats a snow nigga thing namsayin. N yo then the other common stereotypes is latino muthafuckas be rockin zoot suits n chinese niggas be holdin up traffic nahmean. Some these shits is true n summa that is straight bullshit nahmean. Ayo but far as black folks...ayo forget all that fried chicken n sports shit...the one thing niggas really cant jus leave the fuck alone is some crazy ass muthafuckas. Niggas need they scandalous maniac muthafuckas namsayin. Niggas might not always got love for Flavor Flav n OJ n Mel Gibson n Mariah n shit but they wanna see these niggas lose they fuckin minds namsayin. N when you do lose ya mind muthafuckin black folks got ya back son. Niggas will  put you on a pedestal n worship you son. So that brings us to the craziest nigga breathin nahmean. Ayo the god got the nigga Charlie Sheens number from a broad that used to hang wit son. So we gon call this nigga. We got the nigga Alvin in the buildin n shit n he gon be transcribin the shit nahmean. So without further ados Imma call this maniac nigga nahmean. 

(phone ringing)

Ghost: Ayo put that shit on speaker phone, son.

Alvin: Ayo I jus did, fam.

Ghost: Ayo why the fuckin light aint on then, son?

Alvin: Ayo tone there ain't no...

Charlie: WHO THE FUCK hello?

Ghost: Ayo whattup son this Big Ghost aka P-Tone nahmean!

Charlie: Big what? Who the fuck is this?! I CAN SEE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

Ghost: Ayo son you need to calm the fuck...

Charlie: Who is this?! I have seven golf balls in my ass right now as we speak and you want me to calm down.

Ghost: Ayo son......ayo what?

Charlie: YOU WANT TO FUCK WITH ME MOTHERFUCKER?! I WILL FUCK THE LEGS OFF THE TABLE AND YOU STILL WON'T KNOW WHY I DID IT BECAUSE YOU LIVE A SHELTERED EXISTENCE WITH NO...hold on my pizzas here.

Alvin: Ayo Tone this nigga kinda...

Charlie: HELLO! HELLO? HELLO, AM I TALKING TO SOMEBODY?!

Ghost: Ayo son.

Charlie: HANG ON.

Alvin: Son is buggin, b.

Ghost: Chill son, I got this.

Charlie: (sniffing) Hello? Was I talking to somebody on this fucking thing?

Female in background: Yes you were, baby.

Charlie: Hello?

Ghost: Ayo whattup Charlie?

Charlie: Dad?

Ghost: Nah this ain't ya dad, nigga. It's Tone.

Charlie: Good! Because I've had it up to HERE with him! And you wanna know why, Tom? Because while he's sprawled out on his couch watching CNN and eye fucking his newspaper I'm on the front lines LIVING...WINNING....and making him look like a fucking INFANT by comparison. I've got animal organs, you understand? I've got the heart of a dragon, I've got the blood of a tiger, I've got the liver of a dolphin, I've got the eye of a tiger, I've...

Alvin: You said tiger already.

Charlie: Who is that? Why did your voice just change? Hello? TOM!

Ghost: Ayo chill son...that's Alvin. He over here wit a nigga...

Charlie: WHOA...whoa...hold on...what's going on here?

Ghost: Ayo son, we tryin to...

Charlie: Hey where the FUCK is my lighter?!! Oh, nevermind...

Ghost: Ayo son we reporters n shit nahmean. We tryin to...

Charlie: You STUPID bitch! I thought I TOLD you I didn't want to do any interviews today!

Female in background: Baby, you're the one who answered the phone.

Charlie: Are are are you....calling me a LIAR? I will FUCK everything in this room including your banana smoothie if you don't tell me where the fuck my....oh wait, nevermind.

Ghost: Ayo Charlie.

Charlie: Hello? Who is this? You know what...don't even answer that. You ever party like a Greek god my friend? Let me answer that for you...EHHH...no, you haven't. And you want to know why? Because we've never met. And you haven't had the distinct plea-sure of partying with yours truly. I am - winning, my friend. You have no, idea. Listen, I am, Motley Crue circa 1986 meets Iggy Pop x 3,001. That's how I roll. I live more in 5 minutes than these, zombies, ever will in their entire pathetic existences, you understand?  I have an erection 24 hours a day. I will fuck everything in this room. Everything.

Ghost: Ayo son...

Charlie: Dad?

Ghost: Nah son, this Tone.

Charlie: Good. Good. Good. Cause I don't want to talk to Raaaamon, you know what I'm saying?

Ghost: I hear you, b.

Charlie: And and and tell Emilio that he can suck my jewels. I will fuck the moustache off of his face. He can suck my left...

Ghost: Ayo son, you high right now?

Charlie: High? Let let let me ask you a question, Tom. High on what? I get high off of life, I get high off of being a great dad, I get high off of wearing women's undergar-

Ghost: Is you sniffin blow, nigga?

Charlie: Yes.

Ghost: My nigga.

Charlie: Listen, I don't live by conventional rules. I don't conform to individual or societal ideals. I am the pilot of my own destiny and I intend to use just one gear for the duration of the entire trip: GO. I am bi-winning, tri-winning, and quad-winning. I have the blood of an ancient Mongol. I will fuck absolutely everything that stands in my way, including you.

Ghost: Ayo you better watch how you talk to me, nigga.

Charlie: Why? Why? Why?

Ghost: Cos Imma tear ya ribs out, son.

Chalie: Pshhhh! Dude, if you think I'm intimidated by...listen, when people tell me I can't do something, I feel like it's my obligation to pursue exactly that. Vigorously. Radically. Can't is the...Can't is the cancer...Can't...

Alvin: ...of happen.

Charlie: THANK you, but I don't need your help, Mr Whoever-the-fuck-you-are.

Ghost: Ayo that's Alvin.

Charlie: Listen,  are we done here? Because I've been more than patient with you and this BITCH won't help me find my lighter and if I don't smoke this entire pack of cigarettes in the next five minutes I'm going to LOSE my shit, dude.

Ghost: Ayo son you ever wish you was a successful actor?

Charlie: A what? I make nearly...

Ghost: Nah I ain't mean succesful like that, son. A nigga talkin bout you ever wish muthafuckas respected ya craft as a actin type nigga?

Charlie: Nigger?

Ghost: Ayo what the fuck you jus call me?

Alvin: Chill god, the nigga...

Charlie: You listen here, pal. I've got...

Ghost: NAH FUCK THAT! FUCK THAT SHIT! You jus call me a nigger?

Charlie: WHOA! HOLD YOUR HORSES THERE....

Ghost: AYO SON IMMA SLAP YA MUTHAFUCKIN EYEBROWS OFF!

Charlie: You know what? I say, BRING IT.

Ghost: IMMA THROW A STOVE AT YA SPINE MUTHAFUCKA!

Charlie: NEWSFLASH: I don't give a FLYING fuck!

Ghost: When I see ya Imma stomp ya til u look like soup, nigga.

Charlie: Yeah well, if you feel that way. Bring it. Guess what? Don't care. Doesn't bother me. Psssh.

Ghost: Ayo we gon wrap this shit up...

Charlie: Hey listen...

Ghost: Ayo hang up the phone, son.

Alvin: Aight fam.

Charlie: YOU LISTEN HERE, PAL! I WILL FUCK EV-

(call disconnects)

Ghost: Ayo so there you have it, y'all. Ayo hopefully y'alls found that shit helpful n shit.

Alvin: I think that shit went well, son.

Ghost: Aight peace.